It is the year 2014. The New World Order is burgeoning and nearing full realization. Coffee is universally contaminated with mycotoxins, subtly poisoning all who unknowingly give in to the toxic draught of its deception. Alex Jones of InfoWars has provided an alternative to Dave Asprey’s Bulletproof answer to the contamination of the all-powerful bean by mycotoxins, and we at Modern Life Survivalist are here to review it. This is even before reviewing our favorite coffee (Bulletproof Upgraded).
Just a little background on InfoWars. Alex Jones is the real deal (at least as far as we can tell). He’s a libertarian lone voice in the wilderness, preaching 3 times or more a week from his Texas-based radio platform (now gone-viral YouTube channel). The best introduction to this guy would probably be his all-out, near-fisticuffs brawl with Piers Morgan on CNN. Well, it’s not the best representation in some ways, because on his radio show, he actually listens to his guests and doesn’t interrupt or talk over them (or accuse them of being hatchet men for the New World Order!)
Alex has an interest in health, aside from his extreme political banter, and he mentions the various ways the powers that be are conspiring to compromise our health regularly on his show. His direct contribution to solving this problem is his refusal to ignore our poisoned water supply and an extensive line of supplements (along with some fancy water filters) in the InfoWars store. He seems to be having a bit of trouble with his weight these past few years, though he used to be a bodybuilder, as confirmed by this guy on bodybuilding.com’s forum. Not bad, dude! On top of his past bodybuilding experience and having a line of supplements, he has been preaching against the evils of GMO:
But anyway, let’s talk about the coffee. I am a mold canary, and I know when coffee has mold issues. Dave Asprey, the guru behind Bulletproof (our diet of choice), has notoriously developed a virtually mycotoxin-free coffee, which is in my opinion without rival as far as its effects on mold-sensitive people, as well as everyday people who might not notice that their Folgers is making them tired, jittery, and foggy. You can get it on the Bulletproof store.
There are methods for ending up with coffee that won’t fog up your brain, make you moody, make you crash, make you pee a lot, or give you the jitters. Generally, the consensus is that you want:
- organic (at least passively)
- single-source (single-estate)
- wet process (which doesn’t seem to make sense, because “wet” sounds moldy, LOL!)
InfoWars Patriot Blend Coffee meets at least three of these requirements. It is 100% shade-grown, “from the high mountains of Southern Mexico” (high-altitude), and organic. I’m not sure if it’s single estate, but that’d be cool. As an added bonus as far as those socially concerned, it is fair trade as well. Alex himself makes the claim in his ads that “when drinking the Patriot Blend coffee, I do not experience the headaches and other negative effects that are usually associated with caffeinated coffee blends.” Whoa, it’s like he’s taking a page out of Dave Asprey’s jitter-free coffee manual! So there’s a good chance that it might be comparable to Bulletproof as to the degree of symptoms it may cause in a moldy, though Alex never claimed to be poisoned by mold in his early life like Dave was. Either way, his out-of-context mentioning of the lack of side effects bodes well for its “clean high,” mycotoxin-free potential.
Enjoy my review of the taste and physical effects of this supposedly healthy coffee! Coffee is a legal drug after all, so what it does to your body and state of mind is completely relevant.
Also, thanks to Dave Asprey for the Bulletproof coffee method of blending in butter. Makes any coffee about 100% better. Not to mention how grassfed butter is much better (or butter) for you than cream from CAFO cows.
Oh, and may the force be with you!